Creating Communities of Acceptance and Belonging

There’s a quote in A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, the recent biopic about Mr. Rogers, originally from a 1967 interview with the public television icon: “I don’t think anybody can grow unless he really is accepted exactly as he is.”

Mr. Rogers’s work, of course, is focused on young children. But his recurring message of “I like you exactly as you are” is incredibly important during adolescence, when we are uniquely sensitive to feelings of acceptance and rejection from adults and peers. As we form our sense of identity and learn to build relationships with others, acceptance from others lets us know that we have value.

Acceptance—feeling wanted or needed—is strongly related to adolescents’ emotional well-being.

Sixth graders who feel higher levels of acceptance from their parents view themselves as more socially, academically, and physically competent and have higher levels of self-esteem. During this same early adolescent window, students who feel a sense of belonging at school, particularly as a result of teacher support, interest, and respect, work harder and do better academically.

Not surprisingly, peer acceptance matters to adolescents, too. In fact, although acceptance from both parents and peers is related to higher self-esteem and lower levels of anxiety and depression, feeling accepted by peers can protect against the negative effects of being rejected by parents. (Unfortunately for parents, the reverse doesn’t hold true.)

Acceptance and Belonging for Diverse Adolescents

Acceptance is especially important for adolescents who might face increased bias or rejection in other contexts. Lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender youth who are accepted by their families have greater levels of self-esteem and lower levels of depression, substance abuse, and suicidal ideation and behaviors.

Mr. Rogers specialized in early childhood, but his lessons were for every age: “Whether we’re a preschooler or a young teen, a graduating college senior or a retired person,” he said, “We human beings all want to know that we’re acceptable, that our being alive somehow makes a difference in the lives of others.”

That’s the kind of neighbor every adolescent needs.